“THANKS A LOT” TO ALL MY FRIENDS THAT SENT ME WARNINGS

As we progress through 2018, I want to thank you, one and all, for your educational e-mails during the year. I am totally messed up now and have little chance of recovery.

I can no longer open a bathroom door without using a paper towel, nor let the waitress put lemon slices in my ice water without worrying about the bacteria on the lemon peel.

I can’t sit down on a hotel bedspread because I can only imagine what has happened on it since it was last washed.

I have trouble shaking hands with someone who has been driving because the number one pastime while driving alone is picking one’s nose.

Eating a little snack sends me on a guilt trip because I can only imagine how many gallons of Trans fats I have consumed over the years.

I can’t touch any woman’s handbag for fear she has placed it on the floor of a public restroom.

I must send my special thanks for the email about rat poo in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelope that needs sealing.

Also, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.

I can’t have a drink in a bar because I fear I’ll wake up in a bathtub full of ice with my kidneys gone.

I can’t eat at KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutants with no eyes, feet or feathers.

Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

Because of your concern, I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet bowl stains.

I no longer buy fuel without taking someone along to watch the car, so a serial killer doesn’t crawl in my back seat when I’m filling up.

I no longer use Cling Wrap in the microwave because it causes seven different types of cancer.

And thanks for letting me know I can’t boil a cup of water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face, disfiguring me for life.

I no longer go to the cinema because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS when I sit down.

I no longer go to shopping centers because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

And I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a huge phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore and Uzbekistan.

Thanks to you, I can’t use anyone’s toilet but mine because a big black snake could be lurking under the seat and cause me instant death when it bites my rear.

And thanks to your great advice, I can’t ever pick up a coin dropped in the car park because a molester waiting to grab me as I bend over probably placed it there.

I can’t do any gardening because I’m afraid I’ll get bitten by the violin Spider and my hand will fall off.

If you don’t send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 p.m. tomorrow afternoon, and the fleas from 120 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next-door neighbor’s ex mother-in-law’s second husband’s cousin’s best friend’s beautician!

Oh, and by the way…

A German scientist from Argentina, after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain activity read their e-mails with their hand on the mouse. Don’t bother taking it off now, it’s too late. : SMILE

The Money’s not in the List … it’s right HERE [6+ figure months without a SINGLE customer]

Sure, it’s easy to make money online – “they” said.
All you need is a few tools and you can print cash overnight – “they” said.

Well what “they’ said” has translated to over a 97% FAILURE rate for anyone trying to cash in online.

What if the real money was being made WAY outside the traditional online marketing space?

What if complete beginners – starting from scratch – were making profits from day 1 and earning upwards of 6 figures per month?

WITHOUT websites, traffic, lists, products … or even customers?

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My Devotional – Marital Happiness

When the rosy glow diminishes and reality sets in, what makes some marriages happy while others slide into misery? Luck? Good genes? Hanging tough? Hardly! Marital happiness that transcends changing circumstances is built on the qualities Jesus taught.

Let’s look at them:

1. Happy are humble. “Blesses (happy…) are the poor in spirit (the humble, who rate themselves insignificant). Pride that’s self-promoting and always demanding its rights brings misery, while humility, self denial and considering your mate’s needs brings happiness.

2. Happy are the meek: The gentle, patient and kind. Handling your spouse’s struggles with kindness, sensitivity and long-suffering is an expression of love that brings healing into the painful chapters of life and marriage.

3. Happy are the merciful. Sooner or later we’ll inflict injury on one another. Hurt, disappointment and anger will rise up, followed by a desire to make them pay. But just as revenge begets revenge, mercy begets mercy. Mercy isn’t “letting them get away with it.” Treating your spouse mercifully is reciprocal. I creates an atmosphere, where, when you fail, you :shall obtain mercy.” Mercy ends disputes when nothing else works!

4. Happy are the peacemakers. The need to be “right” and “win” only intensifies conflict. In marriage, when one “wins,” both lose! Giving up personal victory to be a peacemaker is ultimate victory. You’d be eternally lost if Jesus hadn’t willingly surrendered His rights for your wrongs. The ring is not the sole symbol of Christian marriage, but the cross superimposed on the ring. Christlike surrender of our uncrucified self promotes marital happiness!

Use These Excellent Tips To Help With Your Internet Marketing Success

Increase your business through Web marketing. The largest benefit of Internet Marketing makes it possible to connect with potential customers from all over the world. Follow these tips to increase your potential to become successful.

1. Use your website tag to define you and your site. The title of your website can determine how your customers perceive your business’s website. Avoid saying something wrong, being confusing or not targeting your niche, or you could lose prospects. (TIP! In an effort to encourage ad clicks, use an image to link to the product page you want them to buy from. If the text matches the rest of the article, you can inconspicuously include it).

2. Include Twitter and Facebook as an integral part of your Website marketing practice. This helps to interact with your visitors and provide them updates as well. Just be sure not to promote too much with tweets and comments. A better option is to offer up content that enriches and entertains your followers, tempered with the occasional promotional blurb. You can use these sites to advertise new offers or to share your customers by using social networking websites. You’re better off providing posts that will have a marketing message here and then.

3. Avoid using Flash too often on your website. Flash programming may make your site appear fun and interactive, but it can also slow your site down. It will do nothing to help your Google rankings. Use it sparingly and include keywords and relevant links on the anchor of your website.

4. Your main source of increased profit will be attributed to your subscribers. Testing out different versions of your site can be achieved through split testing, where one page is served to half your audience and another to everyone else. Then you choose the best one based on new subscriptions.

5. Make sure to have & use detailed statistics. This should include refunds, sales, traffic, refunds and anything else that is measurable. Detailed statistics help you when deciding on how to use Affiliate marketing.

6. Give a variety of specials to choose from at the checkout page. You could also send an email with a choice of three different half-price items.

7. Always utilize signatures when you email others, even if the email is only personal. This is the calling card for your business on the web, printed on pixels instead of on paper. You are more likely to gain increased traffic and profits by including your signature.

Having read this article, you should now know more about online marketing techniques. Now you’re ready to start employing these tips to your business. You could discover that your approach needs some changes. The most important thing is to always be open to learning and trying new things.

Many people are searching for information concerning Internet Marketing, but most don’t find the best information. This article as well as my website contains all the information you need to gain a solid footing when it comes to Internet Marketing. It is up to you to apply the ideas you have I have presented here.

Some Suggestions on How to Defeat Digital Writer’s Block

Anyone who writes or develops content has been here before: At your desk staring at a blank screen and blinking cursor, because despite how hard you try to sit down and focus, nothing is coming out. In other words, you’re trapped in the grips of Writer’s Block.

This problem has plagued creative professionals for as long any of us can remember, but it’s likely worse in our digital age. Since we are expected to produce more content than ever, content publishers and marketers are scrambling to produce as much material as possible to drive visitors to their websites and increase engagement.

Dealing with digital writer’s block is frustrating for most Web workers (trust me), but not impossible. There are plenty of useful tactics that have had proven success for other professionals. So, ease your restless mind for a bit and look at these methods for overcoming the creative stalemate.

Brainstorming

When focusing is the problem, brainstorming is one of the best remedies. This is because it can help a writer organize his or her thoughts. In fact, writers should take 15 minutes to jot down all of the ideas that come to their head regarding a specific topic, and then organize those ideas by creating a mind map or an outline. Aside from old school pen and paper, there is also a multitude of mobile apps available to help with the organization process, such as Simple Mind, MindMeister or Mindjet.

Social Media

While most writers use social networks to market their content, these sites should also be used to generate inspiration. However, if you don’t want to spend time sifting through the random content in your feeds, there are many tools available that can help you pinpoint information, such as Monitter, Twitterfall and Inboundwriter.

While both Monitter and Twitterfall can be used to discover and filter Twitter conversations relating to a specific subject, Inboundwriter not only assists writers in optimizing their content for search engines, but can also be used to find insights and popular topics from hundreds of sources on the Web, including social networks.

RSS Feeds

Sometimes other authors can help you get rid of writer’s block, which is why it is important to keep your RSS feed full of publications and blogs that relate to your expertise or topics of interest. After scanning headlines and skimming through a few articles, inspiration should strike. At the very least, you have given your brain a break from the task, which also helps combat writer’s block.

Change your Routine

Routines are tricky. They can help keep someone organized and provide a sense of comfort, but can make life mundane (leaving little room for inspiration). This is why writers should test how changing a few aspects of their normal routine could negatively impact their writing process. For instance, looking at your social or RSS feeds during different times of the day may help you discover content you would have otherwise missed, while even taking a different route to work could present something as simple as a new billboard that could help spark inspiration. If all else fails…

Stop and Wait

Sometimes, when you’re trying to produce the right words (or characters, these days), you can get a little overwhelmed; and the real kicker is that this anxiety usually only serves to prolong your bout with writer’s block. In these cases, the best thing you can do is to stop staring off into your empty computer screen and just take some time to compose yourself and gather your thoughts, because obviously what you’re currently doing isn’t working.

The time you spend not directly mulling over the topic at hand will allow you to free up your brain and get your creative juices flowing again. These kind of mental breaks are an absolute necessity to any creative professional, and if you’re especially proactive, you can even take a few minutes to go for a walk or meditate, which are both proven methods for clearing your mind and getting it ready to go back to work. Plus, there’s always the chance that you’ll stumble upon something that will provide the inspiration necessary to finish your project. It can also help to strike up a conversation with other people; this not only serves as a good distraction for your overworked brain, but can be another source of inspiration, as well.

However, the key to being able to do this is to set strict deadlines (either of your own or from some sort of supervisor). This is because everyone is likely going to fill up the
amount of time they’re given to complete a project. So, despite how much time you need to stop and ruminate on your work, you’re going to have to complete it eventually. As you approach that deadline, the virtual adrenaline will kick in and (hopefully) help you finish, but that only works when there is a deadline in place.

Something To Think About…

Something to think about…..

Imagine that you had won the following *PRIZE* in a contest: Each

morning your bank would deposit $86,400 in your private account for

your use. However, this prize has rules.

The set of rules:

1. Everything that you didn’t spend during each day would be taken away

from you.

2. You may not simply transfer money into some other account.

3. You may only spend it.

4. Each morning upon awakening, the bank opens your account with

another $86,400 for that day.

5. The bank can end the game without warning; at any time it can

say,“Game Over ! It can close the account and you will not receive a new

one.

What would you personally do?

You would buy anything and everything you wanted right?

Not only for yourself, but for all people you love. Even for people you

don’t know, because you couldn’t possibly spend it all on yourself, right?

You would try to spend every penny, and use it all, right?

ACTUALLY This GAME is REAL!

Shocked ?? YES!!

Each of us is already a winner of this PRIZE. We just can’t seem to see

it.

This PRIZE is *TIME* !!

1. Each morning we awaken to receive 86,400 seconds as a gift of life.

2. And when we go to sleep at night, any remaining time is NOT credited

to us.

3. What we haven’t lived up that day is forever lost.

4. Yesterday is forever gone.

5. Each morning the account is refilled, but the bank can dissolve your

account at any time WITHOUT WARNING….

SO, what will YOU do with your 86,400 seconds TODAY?

Those seconds are worth so much more than the same amount in dollars.

Think about that, and always think of this: Enjoy every second of your

life, because time races by so much quicker than you think.

So take care of yourself, be happy, love deeply and enjoy life!

Here’s wishing you a wonderful and beautiful day.

Start spending…

How to Safeguard Your Electronic Devices

The calendar may be new, but 2018 will bring the same online threats to your money and identity when you use computers and smartphones. Here are some simple safeguarding steps that can go a long way:

Protect those phones and computers
For smartphones, at the very least use the security software that is recommended by your carrier or phone manufacturer. Free products such as Lookout Mobile Security are available for Android and iPhones; AT&T now preloads it on its handsets. Overall, many experts consider Android to be the least secure platform.
Turn off or disable unnecessary features to minimize the “attack surface” of your device. Use encryption features (if offered) to protect stored data in case of loss or theft.

For computers, basic free security software is available from SuperAntiSpyware, AVG, Avast, Bitdefender or Malwarebytes. However, more comprehensive security “suite” products are better. They may be labeled as “total,” “platinum” or “360” vs. those simply noted as “antivirus” or “anti-malware.” For Macs, look into free protection software from Sophos or avast! Many experts recommend Firefox as a safer browser than Internet Explorer or Safari.

Check firewalls
A firewall is software or hardware that examines information coming from the Internet or a network, then either blocks it or allows it to pass through to your computer, depending on settings. Computer operating systems typically come with a built-in firewall. Here’s how to check your settings for Windows and Apple’s OS. Firewall security software beyond what’s in the operating system may offer a stronger defense.

If your home has several computers using the same service provider, you likely have a router to link the modem to each. Routers usually also have a built-in firewall for added protection, but it’s worth spending time reading the manual or visiting the manufacturer’s website to educate yourself on setting options. When buying a router, always change the password from its factory default.

Know your privacy settings
When was the last time you checked the privacy settings on Facebook, Google Groups, Windows or anywhere else?

Never? It’s a good time to start. If you don’t protect yourself, many websites can track your online activity without your knowledge.

Many online services offer different levels of “control” to prevent the potential sharing of your online searches and website visits. Although setting up privacy controls at individual websites can be time-consuming, it’s worth it.

Strengthen your passwords
And of course, lock whatever device you have with a hard-to-crack password. For a smartphone, avoid easy-to-guess number combinations like 1234 or 2014. For a laptop or desktop, use a lengthy password that combines letters, numbers and symbols. You can gauge password strength with free “checkers” such as the best-known from Microsoft, or The Passwordmeter or Ask the Geek.

If you have trouble keeping track of multiple passwords, consider a password manager software that helps you store and organize different passwords and PIN codes. Some allow you to create one “master” password and automatically enter log-in information. Most password managers start at about $20 a year, but some are scaled-down free versions like the one included in the Firefox browser. Some subscription versions are PasswordBox, LastPass and RoboForm.

My Devotional – Law and Order

LAW AND ORDER

We’re producing a generation of kids who are allowed to rear themselves with the aid of television, violent videos and the Internet (which can be a minefield). Often both parents work, leaving one child to supervise another. As a result, they become a law unto themselves.

“A child left to himself disgraces his [parents]” (Pr 29:15 NIV).

Most of us are loving parents, but our children need discipline and rules to live by. Love has a backbone – it’s called law and order. Without it, love is just license.

“A refusal to correct is a refusal to love” (Pr 13:24 TM).

Remember the cute cartoon where dad, strap in hand, makes disobedient Dennis “assume the position”? He says, “This is going to hurt me more than you.” Dennis responds, “Don’t feel obligated to hurt yourself on my behalf.”

Enforcing law and order isn’t easy. But the alternative is a betrayal of our children and our God-given responsibility! Failure to enforce law and order to gain short-term popularity with our kids always ends up costing us their long-term respect. Expecting younger children to figure out what’s right and wrong is a burden they shouldn’t have to bear. Their neurological and moral equipment isn’t sufficiently developed yet for such responsibility.

The Bible says, “Young people are prone to foolishness and fads; the cure comes through tough-minded discipline” (Pr 22:15 TM).

Your children learn to make good decisions from the rewards and consequences of dealing with law and order at home. So don’t fail them!